“This is not an art class, nor is it a study period. You are not here to draw, or to do homework from your other classes. This is an English conversation class. You are here to speak English. Now start talking, and give me the answer to Number 4!” (me, yesterday afternoon, to a class of 15 year-olds)
“I gave you oral pair work. I can make it written individual work. If you want to continue working in groups then you have to actually work, not goof off and do nothing – which is what you’ve been doing all class so far.” (me, Tuesday morning, to a class of 12 year-olds)
Me: What class is this?
Students in unison: English.
Me: And what language are you speaking?
A student, quietly: French.
Me: So?
Students in unison: I’m sorry.
(me a few weeks ago, to a class of 15 year-olds)
“Part of my job is to tell your teacher how you behave while you’re in class with me, and whether or not you do the work that’s assigned. Just because I don’t grade your work doesn’t mean it doesn’t count. Your teacher knows what goes on in our classes, and takes that into account when grading you. Just remember that. (me several weeks ago, to a class of 13 year-olds)
“I personally don’t care if you attend my class or not, or if you show up and refuse to work, as long as you don’t disrupt your classmates. You’re the one who has to take an oral English exam in a couple of months; you’re the one who should care. My job is to help you in whatever way you require; if you won’t allow me to do my job that’s your problem.” (me about 2 weeks ago, to a particularly sullen and stubborn 17 year old)
All of which sometimes leads to…
“Hey, shhh! Get to work! Otherwise she’ll tell Mme. ****** (their regular English teacher) that we’re being silly again!” (an 11 year-old, lecturing his classmates who had become distracted)
“Madame, I’m sorry the schoolboys are very silly and will not behave for you. I promise I will.” (a 12 year-old, distancing himself from his rowdy classmates)
“Madame, do you know Canada is my favourite place? And you have very beautiful hair.” (one of my particularly cheeky 11 year-olds, trying to curry favour after being particularly hyperactive)
Photo: notre-blog.com – though I added the red circle indicating where my apartment is. 
Click on the image for a larger view.
